every time i agree to do something i don’t want to do, i say “alright” like Scar in this scene.
i’ve got an inkling this isn’t about horses.
I’ve been on horses for years that didn’t move. So I hopped off and walked away.
I’ve had horses run incredibly fast beneath me. In the wrong direction.
I’ve seen horses run incredibly fast in the right direction. Miles off in the distance.
I’ve accidentally shot horses while riding them.
I’ve intentionally shot horses while riding them.
I’ve had horses slowly let me down. Then just trot away.
I’ve been on horses that bucked like hell the whole time. Then danced on my face once they got me on the ground.
Once I just walked for a year.
During that time, an amazing horse walked alongside me sometimes. Then one day it pulled off its horse costume to reveal that it was Mike Tyson. Then Mike Tyson taught me a few things about stopping Mike Tyson’s fists with my face. Then Mike Tyson walked away while laughing and telling me he’d be watching me.
Same old story.
But I kept walking.
Because I was smart enough to know I had no business riding horses, but not smart enough to realize that it was because I was horrible at choosing horses.
That was then.
on zombies.
- me: i'm going to wear chainmail during the zombie apocalypse.
- floyd: that won't work. it's too heavy.
- me: i'm gonna be so strong by that time.
- floyd: ...
a Breaking Dawn review for Twihards.
i really had no expectations going into this movie so it should say a lot that i left the theater disappointed.
the vampires in each Twilight movie look different. different hairstyles, different eye colors, different skin tones. hello, they’re vampires! they’re supposed to be unchanging! come on.
pajama jeans. Bella was wearing them. for a significant amount of the movie. okay.
the sex scene. yes. thank you. good job, everyone.
the wedding. lovely. beautiful dress. and i loved Bella’s eyeshadow. loved loved loved.
Jacob leaving the pack. the stupidest thing to ever happen in a movie. ever. their wolf voices were cartoon-y and overdone. get outta here with that. this scene should have been somber and heavy. instead, i couldn’t stop laughing.
music. i haven’t heard the soundtrack yet (because i’m poor) but i liked what i heard. the score, on the other hand, was totally awful. i don’t remember the other movies having music like that the whole time. the music in the other movies was mostly from the soundtracks. but in this movie, the score is heard most of the time and it is so distracting. half the time, the music doesn’t match the mood of the scene and the other half, it was deafening so that the music is the only thing you can focus on. ugh. it made the movie feel like a soap opera. or what i imagine a soap opera to be. since i don’t watch them.
Bella during the pregnancy. yamahama, it’s fright night! seriously, she looked like a zombie. true to the book and appropriately horrifying.
Renesmee. uhhhh, why did they use a CGI baby? come on. they only showed her face for like fifteen seconds. they definitely could have used a real baby for that short amount of time.
again with the fight scenes that didn’t occur in the book. why? what’s the point?? so frustrating.
end credits. what is this, Mad Men?
overall, this movie is nothing like the others, in look or feel. it’s not a good thing. my favorite part of this movie is Bella’s eyeshadow during the wedding. my least favorite part is Jacob leaving the pack. also, everything else.
i know all about this. it’s practically my life. i must see this documentary.
