May 2012
2 posts
better isn't always doing well.
sometimes weird things can save your life. figuratively, you know. Creative Fresno saved my life a few years ago, but that’s a post for a different day.
the music of Wye Oak, a two-member band from Baltimore, saved my life early last year. when the stuff happening in my life had my heart so heavy it felt like i had a weight on my chest, Wye Oak didn’t lighten that load, but listening...
April 2012
6 posts
“I flip through the catalogue, wishing the songs were listed not just by title, but also cross-referenced by meaning or purpose. There are songs about love in so many mutations and guises, love offered and rejected, accepted and betrayed, remembered and missed and sparkling, sparkling new, but somehow none of them are quite right. I’m about to pick an Abba song —...
“Words that describe you: open, accessible, too sensitive, reachable, candid, unguarded
You are an emotional person. In some ways, we are all emotional; we feel joy, anger, sadness and fear; some of us more powerfully than others - and you more powerfully than most. Your emotions are closer to the surface, and your feelings more obvious to you than is the case with most people.”
i...
“Finally, I thought about how English is useful when I sing karaoke. I should begin by saying that singing is not truly my “hobby.” “Hobby” means for fun I think. But karaoke is how I speak my truth. If I use speaking voice to say to someone, “I am lonesome,” especially if I say in Japanese, they will find me kind of pathetic and probably run away. In any...
i have a drinking problem.
i’m not physically dependent on alcohol. i don’t drink every day. sometimes i can go for several weeks without having a drink. but once i have one, i want seven more. that’s called binge drinking, you guys. so i’m going to quit drinking for three reasons:
1. it’s screwing up a relationship that i care about a helluva lot. remember this guy? yeah. i don’t want...
March 2012
7 posts
every bit of me is laid out like a buffet for you to pick and choose and pass over. but you’re that restaurant with just one table a night and it’s booked a year in advance.
or we’re at the end of a poker game. my cards are face up on the table but you never show your hand and you say you’ve won anyway and gather all the chips with one sweep of your arm.
it only took about thirty seconds and two syringes filled with liquid, one a light, transparent red, the other like diluted Windex, to end the life of my Phillip. he was once twelve pounds of lean, powerful, laser-pointer decimating shorthair domestic cat. yesterday, he was spindly, unable to eat, pitifully vocal in his discomfort, weighing under five pounds.
i keep trying to focus on the good...
my darling boy is gone. Phillip Lyons Malveaux-Sanchez, né Lilliana Franchitti Malveaux because i thought he was a girl at first, succumbed to his long fight with chronic renal failure this evening. my weird bunny/owl/Tilda Swinton-lookalike cat is gone and my heart is broken. i feel guilty. guilty. guilty. i’ve never had to make this decision before but it wasn’t hard. the vet said it...
February 2012
3 posts
January 2012
8 posts
this made my heart ache: a letter from John Steinbeck to his son about falling in love.
New York November 10, 1958
Dear Thom:
We had your letter this morning. I will answer it from my point of view and of course Elaine will from hers.
First — if you are in love — that’s a good thing — that’s about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don’t let anyone make it small or light to you.
...
year in review: 2011
2011 was probably the shittiest year of my life. i can’t remember a year that was shittier. some good things happened, though. let’s review, shall we? my parents split up, after 28 (i think) years of marriage, and even though i think they should have parted a long time ago, it was still difficult to deal with. the anger i have toward my dad increased exponentially, which is pretty amazing because...
December 2011
10 posts
Watchquestion: can Wye Oak do anything wrong? answer: no. not even if they tried.
resolution.
today, i told one of my sort of friends that i think she’s one of the most beautiful girls i’ve ever met. i had thought it for a long time but i only told her today. like, i’ve known her for three years or something and i just told her today.
often i find myself holding back from expressing what i think. i think it’s because i’m a perfectionist and very fearful of...
November 2011
19 posts
i've got an inkling this isn't about horses.
I’ve been on horses for years that didn’t move. So I hopped off and walked away.
I’ve had horses run incredibly fast beneath me. In the wrong direction.
I’ve seen horses run incredibly fast in the right direction. Miles off in the distance.
I’ve accidentally shot horses while riding them.
I’ve intentionally shot horses while riding them.
I’ve had horses slowly let me down. Then just trot...
on zombies.
me: i'm going to wear chainmail during the zombie apocalypse.
floyd: that won't work. it's too heavy.
me: i'm gonna be so strong by that time.
floyd: ...
Watchi love this little leaping dog named Lily. also, this song is awesome. ♥
a Breaking Dawn review for Twihards.
i really had no expectations going into this movie so it should say a lot that i left the theater disappointed.
the vampires in each Twilight movie look different. different hairstyles, different eye colors, different skin tones. hello, they’re vampires! they’re supposed to be unchanging! come on.
pajama jeans. Bella was wearing them. for a significant amount of the movie. okay.
the...
